Tuesday, May 07, 2002

The Real Reason AOL Lost $54 Billion

$54,000,000,000.00? That wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that I get a CD for 1000 free hours of AOL internet access in the mail every three weeks now, would it? I got one last night and started thinking, "Didn't I just get one in April? And March? And January?"

I will say this - those CD cases make great holders for the mix CD's I've been making at the radio station! I've taken to using the CD's they sell in bulk sans case and putting them in the harvested AOL plastic cases. There's a plastic sleeve that you can use to slide in a printout of song titles of the tracks on the CD. Thanks AOL Time Warner! About a month ago I got a metal tin with a CD, instead of the plastic case with sleeve. At first I was dissappointed but then started thinking - make a cover for the CD, print it out on contact paper at Kinkos, making it a sticker to put over the AOL graphic in front! Pretty snazzy now, huh? I'm the Martha Stewart of college radio and junk mail! Coincidentallty Kinkos has all those free AOL CD's they hand out, so I may have to grab about ten of them next time I'm there. They might not have those nice cases though, I can't remember. Now that I think about it the CD's might be packaged on a cardboard backer with shrinkwrapped plastic.

The owner of a coffee shop that was also a DJ would use the crappy CD's we'd reject as coasters in the shop. Not indie bands mind you, only when we'd get 15 copies of Cher's new single, that kinda stuff. If you saved all those AOL CD's I bet you could make houses for the homeless or something like that. Not homes of course, but maybe they could be crushed and used as insulation or some other building material; they use old tires for insulation in "green" constructed houses sometimes. What a bloody waste. All those CDs amounting to $54 Billion (well, at least part of, at least a billion I bet). That loss means they made no profit, meaning you the taxpayer will have to cover for AOL's brilliant marketing strategy. Better go to Kinkos and grab some insulation, uh I mean CDs to get at least something for the extra tax burden.


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